By Mary Dufresne | Staff Writer
Why do we try to convince ourselves not to
continue? Perhaps the road we have begun to walk has become a lot rockier than expected, too rigid, too raw, too rigorous.
So you claim you’re “done.” You find that you are unable to handle the stress, the emotions, the confusion, and the frustration any longer. You have hit your point. Give up. Seriously, why even try? What is it worth to persevere through the struggle, fight the good fight, or to one day say you conquered that monstrous mountain?
That was not the answer you were looking for, am I correct? We make exasperated claims to one another such as, “I can’t” or “I am giving up,” with the expectation that our dear listener will come to our true self’s defense with an “oh! of course not! You can do it!” (Note: I said to the defense of our true self meaning: you and I both know that when we make such claims, the inner part of us is still more than willing to fight for our cause). We have not actually given up and do not want to, so we seek affirmation.
Why do we try to convince ourselves not to continue? Perhaps the road we have begun to walk has become a lot rockier than expected, too rigid, too raw, too rigorous. We are suddenly challenged to put forth more effort than what we originally desired. At this point, whether we recognize it or not, something becomes very clear: My strength is not sufficient.
“No. How could I recognize this? By knowing that I am not enough means that I am not in control. If I am not in control, then there will be more uncertainty than I can bear.”
In this moment we are left with two options: we can allow the weight of the world to consume us or accept the fact that we are not in control. Obviously, neither choice is appealing, but perhaps we should look a little deeper at the second option.
By accepting we are not in control means we recognize someone is. Thankfully, that someone is a good and merciful God. “Yeah, yeah, God is in control, what’s new?” I hear you loud and clear. This fact of life is not always as consoling as it ought to be. If we recognize what this really means, we ought to feel more at peace with ourselves rather than anxiety. We do not need to know what is coming next, as we so often claim. We admit and embrace the fact that God is good, but that belief unintentionally goes out the window as soon as we begin to grasp for control. By our worrying, doubting, and fearing of God’s plan, we are suddenly claiming that our control and plans are far better. If we truly believe that God is good, we ought to trust His control over our own.
So you claim you’re “done?” Good. Accept this as self-revelation that it’s time to give God permission to be in control. Once this happens, you just might find you are given the strength to continue.